


Last Mile Of The Way

by DragonGirl87



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Assisted Euthanasia, Character Death, Death, Family, Love, M/M, Pain, Poison, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl87/pseuds/DragonGirl87
Summary: All Harry ever wanted was to have Draco with him until the last mile of the way. When things don't go as planned, his loving children help him to get to where he needs to be.





	Last Mile Of The Way

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I **implore** you, read the tags, read the tags, read the tags! I've decided to go dark on this one and if that isn't for you, please don't read it. That's all I can say.

* * *

“Until the last mile of the way, my love,” Harry whispered. He took a weary step towards the grave, and heavily leaning on his walking cane, he bent forward and placed a single deep red long-stemmed rose on top of the ebony coffin.

He’d been clutching it so tightly that its thorns had pierced his skin but he didn’t feel the pain. Compared to the all-consuming hollowness and the excruciating pain that surged through him every time his heart beat, it was nothing.

It was a relief. Something else to focus on, apart from the terrifying thought that from here on he would be going to bed alone and waking up alone again. He hadn’t gone near his bed in three days and the idea that tonight he would have to go home to an empty bedroom nearly brought him to his knees. He fought against the soul-splitting scream that tried to bubble to the surface but it turned into a wretched sob, he had no hope of containing.

The next thing he knew was that his eldest son was at his side, supporting him, gently dragging him away from the open grave.

“Come on, Dad,” he said, “I’ll take you home.”

Harry didn’t protest, he wanted to but didn’t. Protesting took effort and he didn’t have that. Instead, he walked slowly and unsteadily alongside James, grateful to have his support, physically and emotionally. His hands shook and he dragged his cane as much as he dragged his feet.

James took his arm and wrapped it around his shoulders, then slipped an arm around his waist and let him away. They took forever to make it to the car and by the time they got there, all Harry wanted was to sit in the passenger seat and breathe. Well, he didn’t especially want that but he had no control over that.

“Tired, so tired,” he mumbled, idly wondering where the rest of his children and Teddy were. He couldn’t summon the energy to ask, so he merely sat back, let James fasten his seatbelt and then get in on the driver’s side. They drove off and Harry promptly fell asleep.

* * *

“It’s been a year and he’s only getting more miserable,” Teddy, finally unable to bear it any longer, broke the oppressing silence in the room and everyone turned to look at him.

James sighed, crossed one leg over the other and took a small sip from his Firewhiskey.

He didn’t know what to say.

There wasn’t much to say.

They’d all gathered together to discuss their father’s health which was deteriorating with each passing day. They’d tried everything humanly possible to help him heal, to show him that he wasn’t alone and that his family was there for him. So far, nothing had worked and James doubted that anything ever would. It was like he’d stopped living the day that he’d buried his beloved husband and James didn’t blame him. He couldn’t imagine the pain his dad felt every day all day.

James missed Draco too, he’d loved him too. His unbelievable sass and his special brand of Slytherin-snark had brightened all their days, especially Harry’s. Still, James could not imagine what losing the love of your life felt like. Judging by the way his father looked like, it appeared to feel like part of him had passed away the day Draco had left him.

“I managed to get him to eat two spoonfuls of porridge this morning. He drank about half a cup of coffee but insisted I stop fussing and leave him alone instead. I didn’t want to anger him, so I just left him to his photographs,” Lily said with a frightening weariness.

Al shuffled closer and wrapped an arm around her, pulling his younger sister against his chest to offer some brotherly support. He was sure that it wasn’t much help but he at least wanted to do something to make his sister feel better.

They all took turns looking after their father, usually staying at the house for a week to take care of everything that needed doing, which generally wasn’t much since their father mostly refused to leave his room and hardly ever spoke to them anymore.

James had suggested the rota the day Harry had called from the hospital to let them know what Draco hadn’t made it. Nobody had had any objections. Over the years, their father had given all of them so much love and support that returning that kindness tenfold was a given. They didn’t feel like it was their duty. It was something they wanted to do simply because they all loved their father so very much. Being with him was a gift, one they all treasured fiercely.

“He still keeps calling me Draco. I really don’t have the heart to tell him that I’m his son,” Scorpius said. Even though he was in his forties, he pulled his legs up onto the armchair and wrapped his arms around his knees. “It hurts so damn much,” he whispered.

Silence settled over the room and they all returned to slowly nursing their respective drinks. They were all worried and clearly at a loss as to what to do. Their father was suffering, badly. Losing his husband, the love of his life, was killing him, slowly but surely and his pain was their pain. To them, Draco had been a father, a friend, a confidant, a partner-in-crime. They’d all loved him deeply but none of them had loved him the way Harry had loved him, with all his heart and soul and with every fibre of his being.

Once again, it was Teddy who boldly broke the silence.

“There is a way, but it’s illegal and if we get caught, we’ll all go to Azkaban,” he said and James, Al, Scorpius, and Lily lifted their heads and turned to look at him.

Scorpius slowly lowered his legs back down to the floor and pressed his toes into the soft carpet beneath his socked feet.

“Is it traceable?” he asked quietly, despite knowing the answer already.

Teddy shook his head.

“No, not unless they do an autopsy within five minutes of his death. It’ll look like heart failure.”

“What about a magical trace?” Al asked.

“It’s a Muggle poison,” Teddy said.

“Can you get it?” Lily wanted to know.

Teddy nodded and everyone fell silent again. There wasn’t much else they could or wanted to say. Harry had repeatedly asked them to help him move on but they’d pleaded with him to reconsider, to hold on, to not leave them. They all knew it was selfish but after losing one father they did not want to lose the other one too.

Lily got up and moved over to the window. Al walked to the fireplace and added another log to keep the flames from going out. Teddy looked miserable and James’ expression was unreadable.

After what felt like an eternity, they all turned to look at each other, nodded and then left the room, one by one. They’d come to a decision and they didn’t need words to convey it. All five of them were on the same page.

* * *

Scorpius slowly made his way into his dad’s bedroom, fingers tightly clasped around a small inconspicuous-looking phial. He knocked on the door and waited for an invitation. Harry’s weak voice broke his heart and turning the doorknob, he opened the door and entered.

As usual, his dad was sitting in bed, propped up against several soft cushions and surrounded by old photos and photo albums. His hand shook as he reached out for Scorpius to come closer.

“Scorp, my boy,” he said with a faint smile. “It’s so good to see you.”

Scorpius exhaled audibly, relief flooding through him over the fact that his dad felt well enough to know that he wasn’t Draco, even though he was the spitting image of his deceased father. He moved to sit at his dad’s bedside and took his hand, squeezing it carefully. It felt frail and lacked energy and power. Scorpius doubted his dad still had the strength to wield his wand. He hadn’t cast a single spell since they’d buried Draco and Scorpius didn’t blame him. His dad barely managed to make it through the day, doing magic was thoroughly out of the question.

“Dad, how are you feeling?”

Harry sighed in response and mumbled something Scorpius didn’t catch. He reached for a photograph of the only man he’d ever truly loved. His hand trembled and as he looked at it, tears began to roll down his cheeks.

“I miss him, so much.”

Scorpius suppressed the urge to cry. Instead, he shuffled closer and drew his dad into a fierce hug. For the longest time, he simply refused to let him go, desperately wishing he could absorb all of his dad’s pain.

“I’ve got you what you want, Dad, it’ll take all the pain away. You’ll be together again. Together and happy,” he spoke softly, afraid that his voice might break if he tried to speak any louder.

Harry pulled away, looked at him with so much love that Scorpius felt like his heart might burst out of his chest. From day one, Harry had always treated him like his own son, he’d never once made a difference. Harry caressed his cheek tenderly and smiled.

“My sweet boy, I love you so much, and I’m sorry I haven’t looked after—”

“Dad, _no_. None of that nonsense. I understand, I really do. I know how much you miss him.”

Scorpius placed his hand above Harry’s pressing the warm knobbly fingers against his own cheek. He wanted to feel his dad’s gentle touch for just a moment longer.

Everyone else had already said their goodbyes but Scorpius had deliberately left it until the last moment, wanting a special moment alone with his dad, one that belonged only to the two of them.

“I won’t make you watch,” Harry suddenly promised. “I’ll do it alone, later. You won’t have to see.”

“It’s all right, Dad. I’ll stay if you want me to if it makes it easier.”

“The others?”

“It’s only the two of us in the house, Dad,” Scorpius assured.

Harry nodded and leaning back into the cushions, he let his hand drop onto the covers and whispered something about feeling tired. Scorpius held his hand and gently slipped the phial into it. Knowing that his dad barely had the energy to lift a photograph, he loosened the stopper a little bit but not enough for it to slip out and the contents to go to waste.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you.”

They sat in silence for well over two hours and Scorpius watched his dad slip in and out of a fitful sleep, although he tried his best to fight it. He looked weak and delicate and so, so tired. He looked nothing like the man who had vanquished the darkest wizard of all time. He seemed to have lost his purpose in life and ever since his husband had passed nothing mattered much.

This past year, Scorpius had felt like he hadn’t only lost his beloved father but that he kept losing his other dad over and over again.

Each day that he had to see him suffer broke his heart and he couldn’t take much more of all that pain. He didn’t want to, he wanted his dad to be at peace and reunited with the man he loved, the one person who’d always made him complete. This suffering was unnecessary and unfair and his dad didn’t deserve another moment of the continued heartbreak he’d been enduring for the past year. He was hanging on for the sake of his children and it was ruining him a little more every day.

“I’m ready.”

Scorpius snapped out of his thoughts and merely nodded. For a while he wasn’t entirely sure what to say, then he whispered the only two words he could think of.

“Goodbye, Dad.”

“I love you.”

Scorpius didn’t especially want to watch his dad empty a phial of fast-acting deadly poison but he decided that he was man enough to keep his dad company in his last moments.

And so, he silently watched as Harry uncorked the phial, brought it up to his lips and tipped the contents of it into his mouth without the slightest bit of hesitation.

After that, everything was a bit of a blur and Scorpius watched in slow motion as his dad dropped the empty phial and his eyes flickered shut. He took one last breath, slumped into the pillows and then he was gone…just gone. Quick and painless, exactly as Teddy had said. Scorpius took his dad’s lifeless hand, sandwiched it between his own and simply held it. He let his tears fall and passively watched them soak into the bed covers.

“Tell father I love him. I’ll see you again someday, dad, I promise. Go be happy, you deserve it.”


End file.
